I just wanna start this off saying: if I didn't promise to do this album, and if my computer was still working, I'd have canceled it by now.

As I'm sure a lot of you know, I like music a lot. And I like making it too.

But this album? I don't like it.

Listen, when it's finished and you all listen to it, it's fine if you have fun listening. But just know I didn't have as much fun making it. I hate playing guitar, and I really hate singing. All I wanna do is play bass in a band of other musicians. That's all I've ever wanted. But to do a solo album, you gotta do it all yourself--otherwise it's not really a solo album is it? I never wanted to be a solo artist. I always wanted to form a band. But I can't. The town I live in is small. Not too many people live here, so none of the musicians wanna start a band with me, and those who do wanna form a band don't listen to what I listen to, and those who do listen to what I listen to don't play it.

Killer RAT was an idea I had months ago....I thought it was cool then but I don't now. However, I did promise it, and I don't break promises. And I need money for a computer. Listen, I know that I always believed it's wrong to do this just for the money, but I have no choice here. I can't start a project that I enjoy because the only one I wanna start is one I can't start.

My computer broke, my girlfriend's phone broke so I can't text her, her parents hate me so I can't go see her, and I'm not in a band. I don't have much to look forward to these days. I'll still make the album.....but I don't want to. But hey. maybe things will change. maybe I'll decide it's not that bad after all. but for now.......I just wish I hadn't promised this. I had to break up the christian grindcore parody band because it was unproductive and I didn't know any of the members in real life. I have to completely pause Last Breath because nobody can join. I'm trying to work on the soundtrack for two indie horror games but it isn't easy considering the fact that I'm not really a horror artist. And I have to work on this shitty punk album because I need a computer and because I said I'd make it.

If this takes a long time to come out, leave me the fuck alone over it. I have my reasons and those are my reasons.

-J

P.S. Again, if I change my mind and decide I am having more fun than I thought, I will let you know.